I was in stall number 2 in the restroom at work today, and you were in stall number 1. You pooped, exited the stall, and went straight out of the bathroom. Hey! Didn’t you forget something you filthy jerk? Yeah, that’s right. You didn’t wash your fucking hands, and then you put your dirty poopie hands on the door knob. What a fucking inconsiderate asshole you are. This is why I have to use a paper towel to open the bathroom door. Thanks very much you nasty, dirty, waste of a human being.
The Wall Street Journal ran a video story today regarding the harmful effects of double dipping. This happens to be high on my list of pet peeves. According to their study, a double dip can introduce 1,000 bacterial organisms per ml. This translates to 50K to 100K bacterial organisms per bowl of dip. Don’t double dip. You will make me sick!
See the video here:
Think about walking like driving. There are people that slowly drive down the road, blocking lanes, creating traffic, and are simply oblivious to the world. I think the same people that drive terribly also walk the same way. They are distracted, oblivious and slow. I see them in airports, malls, on the sidewalk just shuffling their way to nowhere. Here is an idea: figure out where you want to go when you start walking, and then walk there with purpose. Don’t just stop abruptly in the middle of a busy walkway and ponder look around at things. If you want to do this, step aside and stand out of the way.
Walk fast. It is better for you than shuffling your feet and taking baby steps. Are you an adult or a little baby that just learned how to walk? Use your legs and muscles. Get somewhere. Do something. Go!
When did it become okay to portray men as complete idiots in commercials? I know it’s easy to do because it’s all fun and games right? I mean, there is no NOM (National Organization for Men) to stand up against offenders, so why not let women advertising executives get their revenge against men? There is no Global Fund for Men. There is no National Association for Men Business Owners. There is no American Men in Radio and Television. There is no Coalition of Labor Union Men. There is no National Association for Men in Education. There is no National Federation of Business and Professional Men. There is no National Men’s Studies Association. There is no National Men’s Economic Alliance Foundation. Because if men started any of these organizations, they would be torn to shreds. How dare men stand up for themselves. They are just video game playing, beer drinking, sports watching, immature boys that couldn’t make a decision to save their lives.
Well I’m fucking sick of it! Go ahead. Make another commercial that portrays men as idiots, and I’ll put you on my list of companies to boycott. Let’s start with Dairy Queen. Go fuck yourselves Dairy Queen.
Fuck you Kingsford. I’ll get my charcoal elsewhere
A kindred soul:
Do you know how grotesque you look when you chew with your mouth open and smack your lips? Learn to breathe through your nose. That’s what is there for. It is not a snot collection box for blowing in public. You are supposed to breathe through it so that you can close your mouth every now and then.
When you eat with your mouth open, stuff falls out, and food particles fly into other people’s food. Gross.